Day 9: January 9, 2009

Question 107:

Who's the most unusual member of your family?

Responses:

• Besides me? I'm unusual because I didn't catch the "camping fishing getting dirty and sweaty" bug from my father like my sisters did. I'm unusual because I did theatre and they did wildlife. I'm unusual because I went to years of therapy to deal with my anger and resentment and panic attacks and my sisters bottle it up and explode. Hmmm...which is healthier? Each one of my family members is uniquely UNusual in completely dysfunctional ways. The MOST unusual, if I have to pick just one family member, is my father in law. He's a professed athiest. He says he's too smart to believe in God. But he can't put together a fisher-price playset (that HAS numbered notches telling you where to put what). He's too smart to believe in God but he says "expecially". He's too smart to believe that God created the universe, because he used to be a Nasa scientist. He can't understand how God can unconditionally love all the evil people in the world. Life has rendered him completely NEGATIVE (pessimistic), bitter, racist, judgmental, and cynical. He's a real peach to be around. But he refuses to believe that God loves him. He says he doesn't believe in God and that he doesn't want God mentioned at his funeral. My argument to that is that he shouldn't have a funeral because funerals are intrinsically GOD-centered. He doesn't smile when he holds his grandchildren. He is unusual to me. He is also my biggest challenge. Because if I am to live as God wants me to, then I am called to love this man even though he doesn't believe in God. This is difficult for me. He doesn't believe in God but he celebrates Christmas because of the presents and Easter because of the candy. God keeps trying to whack him on the head to wake him up, but my father-in-law is as stubborn and ignorant as they come.
• I am. The rest are insane.

Song:
Homesick, by Kings of Convenience

Lyrics:

I'll lose some sales and my boss won't be happy,
But I can't stop listening to the sound
Of two soft voices
Blended in perfection
From the reels of this record that I've found.

Every day there's a boy in the mirror asking me...
What are you doing here?
Finding all my previous motives
Growing increasingly unclear.

I've traveled far and I've burned all the bridges
I believed as soon as I hit land
All the other options held before me,
Would wither in the light of my plan.

So I'll lose some sales and my boss won't be happy,
But there's only one thing on my mind
Searching boxes underneath the counter,
On a chance that on a tape I'd find...
A song for someone who needs somewhere to long for.

Homesick.
Because I no longer know where home is.