It's amazing to me that some relationships are so difficult to develop, while others just seem to occur naturally. I have at least a handful of friends that I adore, and I am confident that they feel the same in return, but for some reason we just aren't able to make a fluid, impenetrable connection. And it's not for lack of trying. Or want. It just is. And that's fine. I put effort into my work, my writing, and my friendship with this person, and that person, oh and this person, too. And so on. Such is life.
But then there are people with whom I just click. Which, I think, is true for everyone, so big deal, right? But what strikes me is that I don't have to spend much time or energy in establishing, developing, or maintaining a relationship. The relationship just exists and seems as if it always has. As sure as I have green eyes and fair skin, I have an effortlessly unbreakable bond with her, with him, oh and her, too. And so on.
It's fascinating to me. And very inspiring.
Which may be what brings all of this to the forefront right here and now. It's certainly why I started this blog. Blog. Blog blog blog. What an awful word. It sounds like a 17-year old bulemic girl. Blog. Buh-lawg. Gross.
What was I talking about?
Oh, yes. Inspiration.
Yesterday, I had lunch with Jen Bou. We haven't had a full conversation in over 2 years, so it was nice to be able to finally do that again. During our conversation, as typically happens, we started talking about art and creativity. With my work and my writing consistently at high levels of activity, I don't feel deficient in the creativity department. But I always walk away from conversations with Jen with the need, a visceral, undulating need, to create.
Yes, it undulates. Causing me to muster my unexpressed emotions, desires, fears, and fill-in-the-blanks until all I can do is focus all that energy into a single force. Or maybe it focuses itself, I'm not sure. I certainly don't feel like I have control over it. And I don't want control over it, frankly. So quit pushing me.
Creativity. Such a bad reputation it has. Feared by many--I'm looking at you, Utah. Coveted by some--Julie Taymor would do well to pull back a bit. And revered by Paul.
Just kidding. Revered by most of us, really. How can I possibly be creative? Who would want to see what I've done? What if they don't like it? Blog blog blog. Such a waste of energy.
What Jen does so well (and unknowingly, until now. Unless she already knew, of course. But she's an actor, so she can easily pretend that she didn't know. Though, she'll remind me that she stopped acting. But I'll remind her that we act every day and in every situation. So there, Jen. Top that.) is bring me to the FuckIt point. After meeting with her, my self-created concerns no longer matter and all I want is to Do, with a capital D. So that's what I'm going to do, with a little d. I was never one for too much fanfare.
Onward, then, with my series, Over the Table and Under the Bar, with more gusto than before. Onward with my mosaic entry-way piece (my Butter Dinosaur). And Onward with this.
Blog.
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